May 2012
16 posts
Unified Theory of Willpower
On a great morning, you wake up with no alarm to a sunny day, with your beloved spouse/dog/stuffed bunny near you, and smile. Life is good. Birds are singing. Your emotional bucket has 100 points in it.
Then, things start eating away at your points. Everyone has a different set of costs, but, for me:
Terrifying morning email chains can eat up to 20 points
Any airplane anywhere is 10 points....
Nasn
Not another social network! I am fatigued.
Here is my status report about how I feel:
Facebook: lame suburbanites
Quora: intriguing, can I answer?
Pinterest: don’t understand what to do
Branch out: not trying this
Linked in: need more job leads
Tumblr: don’t understand how to make into a social network
Google: pathologically arrogant engineers treat humans like test...
Today's thought
When you think small you become small.
An abbreviated list of fallacies
It’s been a week of unending running commentary for me - often coming too fast and furious to document fully. So, in a cathartic effort to express my thoughts.. below are a short subset of key fallacies perpetuated by companies the world over. In no particular order.
1. This is the best of all possible worlds. Or, this company is the best of all possible companies. Or this cheese-making...
Fitness Magazines and Offsites
I am sometimes a lazy person. I love to sit back on a weekend, pop on My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding, and paint my toenails. I admit that I can’t always be gardening, cleaning, painting or doing something else to better myself or my life.
But, I don’t think I am always a lazy person. I think I am not kidding myself when I say I work hard at work, drive my team hard, and we produce good...
Women in the Workplace
I was just reading one of my favorite blogs by Bob Sutton, the author of The No Asshole Rule (a book that should be mandatory for everyone in any organization.)
The blog summarized findings on the behavior of powerful women in work situations. And, while I can make a great list of why being female in a male dominated workplace is… challenging… these discussions of women keeping quiet...
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“In 2010, a UN report said that wireless technology becoming a common medium has...”
– Bill Clinton
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Image Rehaul
Now that I know that over 30% of America is obese, it seems high time to reframe this disease into something more pride inducing.
“I’m just a Type More, you know? I guess that makes me weigh more but I can’t really mind it. I just want the most out of life”, Sam the overweight non-coked up banker
“Well yes I do have a Patriotic predilection. I would rather eat...
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Today's Moments of Dumbfoundedness
Did you know that almost 70% of the American population is overweight or obese. That’s basically everyone. They are now making ambulances that can carry people up to 1,000 pounds.
Colin Powell’s new book is out. Apparently the Iraq war was never given an intelligence assessment. Nope. Dick Cheney and Scooter Libby convinced the President that a legal brief arguing the case...
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Belts
In theory, a sophisticated and stylish way to liven up any outfit. In practice, I have never successfully pulled one off.
Depression Hurts
There’s a fine line between honesty and cruelty.
As anyone in any corporation knows, there are bumps on every product. Toothpaste tubes that don’t easily squeeze out product. Swiss cheese with poor hole distribution. Turn signals with less than satisfying clicking sounds. It happens.
But, when you’re trying to promote your latest and greatest - either to the world on the Today...
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the Offsite of the Future
Today I needed to work with a team to develop a group cultural approach for our Strategy function. This is what happened and this is why I think work as we know it as been completely blown up, in a good way, by the revolution that socialmobilereality has wrought.
Instead of an Offsite we discussed a social event on an Island .. more Survivor than Beer & Chips on Friday
Instead of a Speaker...
April 2012
9 posts
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Best Friend at Work?
A long time ago, when I was young and innocent, I worked for a Boston-based mutual fund company (with such a passion for keeping themselves out of the press that even today, I cannot speak their name). Every quarter we did a Gallup internal survey to test the mood of the company. Every. Single. Quarter.
And every quarter they gave us our readout. They used to explain that there was one question...
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Hipster Themed Artisan Foods
So this weekend I saw two tv advertisements squarely geared at hipsters, cast with hipsters, featuring “artisan” dunkin donuts bagels and “artisan” dominos pizzas. Discuss
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Intractable Conflict
Intractable Conflict is according to Wikipedia a form of complex, severe and enduring conflict.
I just wonder, has anyone ever done a study of a straight up Intractable Conflict and what it was that caused it to become not that way anymore?
One thinks of similar words like:
entrenched bureaucracy; a company that can’t get out of its own way to innovate
israel and palestine; a...
Notes from a ReOrg: Midpoint review.
The reorg feels far from over. On some level, it’s already done. New org charts have been drawn, and we’ve lost some amazing people in a layoff. The logistics of re-org are over. Now comes the actual re-orging. The humans, getting used to their new location in the world.
It’s like moving to a new home. For a long time, you forget the extra TP is in the downstairs bathroom, or...
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the 6th circle of technology hell: computer...
as a Macbook Air owner, I have to say, I don’t care if it costs double, for the joy of not having to deal with
firmware updates since the out of box software CD doesn’t work
firmware updates since the product doesn’t plug and play
unnecessarily tree structured product sites with useless search capabilities
exhortations to register products and yourself on said bizarrely tree...
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Can someone say Quagmire?
Recently I’ve read a few things about the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan which disturb me profoundly. Both pieces explain that, in essence, these countries will not remain as one after the US leaves and that some form of federalism will take root. In Iraq, the Kurds, the Shias and Sunnis will separate. In Afghanistan the Pashtuns will separate from the rest and potentially cause more...
March 2012
13 posts
A Day of Renewal
I often find myself reading other people’s blogs in which they declare that they woke up down/tired/sad and decided to take the day to renew and refresh their soul. They seem to find gardens to wander, books to read and other lovely experiences that leave them ready to tackle the real world again.
I hate these blogs.
Why? When you work for the man, in a “real job”*, you...
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Good Ideas, Great Execution
This may be my new life strategy. I swear I spend so much time hunting for the brilliant idea. The perfect Halloween costume, the right outfit, the best new book, whatever. At some point I have to say? There are no unique ideas. Every single thing has been thought of or preconceived in some way. The only thing that matters is execution. The implementation of the idea and how it gets form...
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Gmail Themes
Will someone please explain how I can get a new Gmail theme? Or why it is that in this day and age, there are fewer than 20 themes to pick from? No like!
Notes from a ReOrg: Step Away from the Job
It never ends. It’s continuing. I fully anticipate another 2 weeks of jockeying, backstabbing and generally unsportsmanlike behavior. This is more fun than a root canal.
Today’s note is on meddling. The truth is, a good 75% of the re-org has already been decided. That is to say, anyone with management roles already has a chair and the outlines of a team. Most individual contributors...
Lilac's Fug Madness Picks
Since I can’t tell a basketball from a pop-tart, and fill in my husband’s fam’s brackets with utter guesses every year - I always actively participate in the chick edition of march madness: Fug Madness, run by the Go Fug Yourself fashion bloggers.
This year, I wanted to publish my picks for the winners:
Cher Bracket: The 4th round will be between Swinton and a Kardashian, with...
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Day 1 with the GCloud
Today marks the first day in nearly 15 years that I will be excited to open up my work computer because today is my first day on the Gmail cloud!
Things I will not miss:
*Feeling guilty for having an Internet browser open. Now it’s required for my job.
* Waiting 10 minutes for the Outlook to load up. Sometimes frantically trying to start the computer from the car so I can make it to a...
PSA: Subarus, iPhones and Chargers
Since it took me MONTHS to work it out - here’s the PSA:
If you have a subaru (mine’s an outback) and it beeps uncontrollably at random times with the “seatbelt unbuckled” alarm for the passenger seat -
a) consider whether you’re charging your iphone (4, in my case) when this happens
b) if so, consider your charger. My Kensington Charger created this effect -...
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No!!! Don't kill the Razor / Razor Blades... →
This does not bode well for our original business model for Thongcharm
Notes from a ReOrg: I'm Still Relevant!
One of the outcomes of a reorg - or indeed, perhaps the point - is that people’s fiefdoms shift. Sometimes you get more responsibilities. Sometimes you get less. Sometimes both more and less, in different domains.
But, there’s a strange period of time - often far too long, really - in which a re-org has been foreshadowed or announced, and the final org chart is delivered and...
Notes from a ReOrg: Measure Everything NOW
I just got an email in my inbox, which I will have to paraphrase to protect the innocent. But, it is the sort of email that fully captures the glory of a massive re-org. Paranoia, urgency, and self-interest, all coming together in one glorious email.
Subject Line: URGENT - What did we do this week?
Folks,
I’m in report hell!!! We’re now being asked to provide a detailed weekly update – and...
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March Self Improvement Books
Preparing for Spring I’ve read these 2 books recently and really want to recommend them to all of you!
The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women by Dr. Valerie Young
http://www.impostorsyndrome.com/
This is actually a book for anyone (men or women) and is really perceptive at stopping the internal things that hold many of us back. I don’t want to give away too much because everyone...
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The Geek Quiz →
Leaving aside the fact that the quiz did not publish my results in a Safari browser, it’s been a long time since a quiz has been this entertaining. In fact, perhaps I didn’t get the results because the quiz knew I’d be too ashamed of the answer.
February 2012
10 posts
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The answer to obesity is quantity control
Obesity is linked to higher incidence of health problems and those health problems are in turn linked to higher healthcare costs and lower quality healthcare outcomes. At Safeway Corporation, they found that 70% of their healthcare costs could be traced back to health problems linked to obesity. In response the company put in place higher healthcare premiums for those with a BMI over 30, and...
Notes from a Re-Org: The Conference Call
My group is going through a massive re-org. While I have some inside information, I can’t begin to predict the outcome for myself or my team - or whether I will be content with the outcome. This could be amazing. This could be horrible. But, I will say, in the interim, this is an amazing popcorn moment. Pop the corn, and sit back and watch.
One feature of any re-org is the corporate...
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Hedging the Upside
In finance class, we are taught about hedging. Hedging is not only a topiary term, but also a way of protecting yourself against a negative outcome.
So, for example, you could buy a stock for $10 a share, and hope it goes up to $15. But, it could just as easily drop to $5 - so you buy a hedge - an option to sell it at $9. With a guaranteed out at $9 (at a loss of $1), you hedge the downside risk...
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“Is there such a thing as a blog repeat? i have lived by this quote for over 5...”
– Ha Jin, from the book the Crazed
There are the people in your neighborhood
My dear friend, who I like to call “desktop faxing” in blog posts (hi girl!), once explained my professional behavior to someone. She told them that there was no need to attempt to win me over — just do good work.
She was right.
I appreciate people who do good work. I actually have a mental tier system of colleagues:
Tier 1 - Cool & Smart. Someone who does great work and...
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You Know You've Run a Lot When
It hurts more to walk down the stairs than up.
You would rather keep running than stop to walk.
Walking Slowly
A dear friend (Hi!) introduced me to the term “slow walker.” A slow walker is someone who takes their sweet time to get to where they are going - meaning, for the rest of us neurotic overachievers, that they don’t accelerate to get anything done.
As someone who does everything as fast as I can without actually entering cardio-mode, this behavior is shocking to me. If I have to...
You know you're not a marketer when...
In the spirit of Jeff Foxworthy, which is a spirit I very rarely embody, let me put forth the start of this list… You know you’re NOT a marketer when:
You couldn’t write a complete, sensible blog post about the product you market
Your idea of a benefit of your product is Better Tenacity To Porous Hard Baked Goods
When you think of a web page, you think “updated...
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Crossing the Line - Houseguests
To all Houseguests:
May I remind you that no matter how much “like family” you are, it is never appropriate to:
- Discuss the cleanliness of the place
- Buy gifts or bring gifts of things you believe are missing from the place as cute “you need this!” gifts
- Discuss ad nauseum the things you notice are not setup 100% accurately to your liking and then worse, discuss...
January 2012
13 posts
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Compared to what?
I’ve been noodling today about the baseline to which we compare our achievements. Multiple people in the past month have told me something to the effect of “Yes, but you can’t compare yourself to mediocrity!” (I’m looking at you, desktop faxing girl)
For example, let’s say your cheesemaker decides to go into partnership meetings with the cracker people. The...